Everyone is special is his own way

A great article to share with everyone..

RECENTLY heard of a few cases of people suffering depression because they felt lousy about themselves, some to the extent of contemplating drastic measures, like suicide. This has impelled me to share my thoughts on the topic of self-esteem. In a country as affluent as Singapore, where the rich are fast getting richer while the poor find it a struggle to keep pace, the aspect of self-worth or self-esteem features as an important element that needs to be addressed across any individual’s scope of reference. Someone once wrote that self-esteem is about how much you value yourself and how important you think you are. It’s about how you look at yourself and how you feel about the things you have accomplished.

Many people get the wrong impression that self-esteem is all about how great you feel about yourself and visibly demonstrating your confidence and ability, sometimes to the extent of coming across as being boastful. To me, self-esteem is akin to quietly knowing that you are worth a lot, regardless of race, wealth, intelligence or station in life. It’s all about recognising that you are blessed, talented and “priceless”!

This brings to mind Master- Card’s “Priceless” advertising proposition. Dr Jim Farrell, a professor of history and director of American Studies at Olaf College in Northfield, Minnesota, has commented that MasterCard’s ‘Priceless’ ads are obviously designed to respond to the American public’s worry that everything is being commodified, and that we’re becoming too materialistic”.“So the ads emphasise thethings money can’t buy, the intangibles that make the good life really good.”

You need neither money nor a high position to know that you are worthy of being loved and accepted. Stop for a moment and you will realise that nobody in the entire world is perfect, and that having a positive self-esteem does not stem from material things but from a perception that is within yourself.

I stumbled upon a story recently about a well-known speaker who started his seminar by holding up a $500 note. In the room of 200 people, he asked: “Who would like this $500 note?” Hands started going up. He said: “I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this.” He proceeded to crumple the note up. He then asked: “Who still wants it?” Still, the hands went up in the air. “Well, what if I do this?” And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked up the dirty and crumpled note and asked: “Now, who still wants it?” Still the hands shot up. The valuable lesson this speaker was trying to inculcate in his audience had to do with “value”. No matter what he did to the money, the people still wanted the note because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $500.

Friends, I’m sure you realise that life never promises to be a bed of roses. All of us go through ups and downs, with more downs than ups sometimes. Yes, there are occasions we are made to feel like the $500 note – dropped, crumpled and ground into the dirt, to the extent that we feel as though we are worthless.

We live through situations that come by us and we make decisions to the best of our ability. But things don’t always end up the way we want them to be. But, regardless of what transpires or what will transpire in the future, you need to remember that you – just like the note – will never lose your value.

All of us are special in our own right.

Someone once said: “Never let yesterday’s disappointments overshadow tomorrow’s dreams.”

So lift your head high and recognise that “value has a value only if its value is valued”!

"Contention"

Resist the pull of The 99 Club

IN an affluent nation such as Singapore, many of us cannot help but get sucked into trying to keep up with the Joneses, with much of our waking time spent striving for material fulfilment. This mentality reminds me of a story sent to me recently by a colleague.

Once upon a time, there lived a king who, despite his opulent lifestyle, was unhappy and discontented. He could not understand why a particular servant in his court always smiled and sang as he worked. He was jealous that the lowly servant had so much joy in him, while he, the supreme ruler of the land, was unhappy and gloomy. The king asked the servant: “Why are you so happy?” The servant replied: “Your Majesty, I am but a servant and my family and I don’t need too much – just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our stomachs.”

Dissatisfied with the answer, the king turned to his adviser. After pondering for a moment, the adviser said: “Your Majesty, I believe the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club. “To truly know what The 99 Club is, Your Majesty, you need to place 99 gold coins in a bag and leave it at the servant’s doorstep.” Later, when the servant found the bag of coins, he let out a great shout of joy and started to count the coins. He was not convinced that someone would leave only 99 coins at his doorstep and immediately started to wonder where the 100th coin was.Unable to find it after several re-counts, the servant decided that he was going to work harder than ever to earn the extra gold coin and complete his collection.

From that day on, his life changed. The overworked man was horribly grumpy, and he criticised his family severely for not helping him earn the 100th gold coin. He even stopped singing while he worked. Noticing the transformation, the adviser said to the king: “Your Majesty, the servant had now officially joined The 99 Club.”

He added: “The 99 Club is a name given to a group of people who have enough to be happy but are never content, because they are always striving for an extra something, telling themselves that, ‘if I get that, then I will be happy for life’.” There is an obvious moral to this story. No matter where we are, we can be happy, even with very little in our lives – but the minute we are given something bigger and better, we tend to want even more. Chances are that we will lose the joy we used to have when we had less, and may even hurt the people around us by our actions, without realising it.

So, the next time you stumble upon a situation similar to that of being presented with 99 gold coins, count that as a blessing. Do not let what has come your way push you over the edge, and resist the unwelcome membership to The 99 Club.

Extracted form My paper, 17 July 2010. By Geoff Tan